Meet Timmy Failure. He’s the founder, president, and CEO of the detective agency he had named after himself: Total Failure Inc., ‘the best detective agency in town, probably the state. Perhaps the nation.’ His business partner (and idiot best friend) is a 1500 pound polar bear, named Total, who is often not very helpful, and gets paid in chicken nuggets. There is no case too big or two small for Total Failure Inc., whether it’s solving the mystery of the missing Halloween candy or discovering who stole his mother’s Segway. Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Madeis the first book in the hilarious new series by Stephan Pastis.
Take eleven-year-old Timmy Failure – the clueless, comically self-confident CEO of the best detective agency in town, perhaps even the nation. Add his impressively lazy business partner, a very large polar bear named Total. Throw in the Failuremobile – Timmy s mom s Segway – and what you have is Total Failure, Inc., a global enterprise destined to make Timmy so rich his mother won t have to stress out about the bills anymore. Of course, Timmy’s plan does not include the four-foot-tall female whose name shall not be uttered. And it doesn t include Rollo Tookus, who is so obsessed with getting into “Stanfurd” that he can t carry out a no-brain spy mission.
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made is the funniest book for kids that I’ve read in a long time. The story by itself is funny, but add in Stephan’s cartoons and you get a book that has you laughing out loud. The funniest parts of the book are when Timmy is explaining something and then he draws a picture to show you what happened. There is a part when Timmy visits Molly Moskins’ house and he meets Molly’s cat, Senor Burrito, that made me laugh so hard (you’ll have to read the book to find out why).
One thing I loved about this book was the weird and wacky cast of characters. First of all you’ve got Timmy, who is the one who is supposed to be looking for clues, but he’s completely clueless himself. He speaks like a detective and is always trying to convince his mother that his detective agency needs to upgrade their offices or get an administrative assistant to handle the paperwork. Jimmy’s best friend, Total, doesn’t talk (because he’s a polar bear), but he provides some of the funniest moments of the story through his antics. Molly Moskins is the weird girl that has a crush on Timmy who has mismatched pupils and a tendancy to use words that do not exist (like ‘wondermarvelously splendiferous’). Then there is the ‘Evil One,’ Timmy’s nemesis and fellow detective, Corrina Corrina.
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made is only the first book in Stephan Pastis’ new series and I hope there will be many more to come. I guarantee that you will laugh out loud at least once while reading this book. I recommend it for anyone 7+ who likes a good laugh and quirky characters.
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made by Stephan Pastis is the funniest book you’ll read this year. If you like the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books you’re sure to love Timmy Failure. This book should come with a guarantee – “If you don’t laugh out loud at least once we’ll give you your money back!” It’s due out in March and you can watch these very funny videos below to meet Timmy Failure, his friends and his enemies. There is also a really cool Timmy Failure website you can visit to find out more about the book and the author – www.timmyfailure.com
If you are looking for a sensational book to read this summer, look no further. The ACB with Honora Lee is NZ author Kate De Goldi’s latest book, and tells the story of nine-year-old Perry.
Perry likes to ask questions, but she rarely gets answers. Her mother and father are very busy people, and are always working. She doesn’t have many children to play with, either; only her babysitter Nina’s son Claude. Perry is an only child, and her family is very small. There’s Perry, her mum and dad; and, of course, there’s Gran.
Gran lives at Santa Lucia, a home for the elderly. Perry and her father visit her there every Saturday. Santa Lucia is a chaotic place, full of mishaps, mysteries and peppermints. When one of Perry’s classes is cancelled, she decides to spend her Thursdays at Santa Lucia with her gran. The people at Santa Lucia are, to say the least, a wild bunch. Perry’s gran, for instance, has a habit of stealing Melvyn Broome’s peppermints. Melvyn Broome has a habit of hitting people who steal his peppermints with his walking cane. Gran, as well as most the people at Santa Lucia, has a weak memory, yet instead of being confused, she sticks to the few things she can remember about her past. Perry decides that what this unusual yet lovable family needs is something practical, reliable, and orderly; and what could be more reliable than an alphabet book?
As Perry works on her ABC book, she tries to stick to the rules, but as the people at Santa Lucia help her, the alphabet soon is an ACB; a jumbled, confused version of the alphabet. Nothing stays the same at Santa Lucia, but soon Perry begins to wonder: is it Gran, Doris and the others who don’t make sense, or is it the strict, “do-as-I-say” world outside Santa Lucia’s walls that doesn’t?
The ACB with Honora Lee is a simple yet powerful novel, and will be enjoyed by children and adults alike. It is tinged with subtle humour and written in an almost poetic way. You will never want to put it down!
Emily Vole makes headline news in the first weeks of her life, when she is found in an abandoned hatbox in Stansted Airport. Then, only a few years later, her neighbour Mrs String dies leaving Emily a mysterious inheritance: an old shop, a small bunch of golden keys and a cat called Fidget. It’s the beginning of an adventure of a lifetime as the old Fairy Detective Agency comes back to life. It is up to Emily to reopen the shop, and recall the fairies to duty. Together they must embark on their first mystery and do battle with their great fairy-snatching enemy, Harpella.
Operation Bunny is a magical story, filled with a cast of wonderful characters, plenty of mystery, and a sprinkling of humour. It’s the sort of book that you sit down to read a few chapters and end up gobbling up the whole book because you’re enchanted by Sally Gardner’s storytelling and David Roberts’ hilarious illustrations.
I fell in love with the characters straight away and I wanted to be friends with Miss String and Fidget the talking cat. Emily is a Cinderella-type character because she gets locked away and made to do all the housework for her horrible adopted parents. Not only are they horrible, they’re also quite stupid. Emily’s adopted mother lets a strange lady into their house who turns her triplets into zombies, and Emily’s adopted father is a slimy wee man who’s hiding a secret and always calls his wife ‘Smoochikins.’ However, Emily is much smarter and braver than these horrible people give her credit for, and with the help of her rather unusual neighbours she escapes and starts her new life as a detective. Fidget is my favourite character because he is always happy to help and he has the best lines (which usually involve fish of some sort), like ‘Search my sardine tin, I don’t know,’ and ‘Twiddle my whiskers and call me tuna.’ I love the way that Fidget calls Emily ‘my little ducks’ too. Even though she doesn’t have parents that love her, she has a giant talking cat that is looking out for her always. There are lots of other interesting characters in the story, including a mischievous bunch of keys, zombie babies, a fairy policeman, a shop with legs, a magic lamp that talks, and lots and lots of bunnies.
David Roberts illustrations are wonderful as always and help set the tone of the story. They’re both hilarious and a little dark, and they bring Sally’s characters alive. I especially like the personalities that David has given each of the rabbits and the suave, charming look that he’s given Fidget.
I’m so pleased that we have more adventures with Emily, Fidget and the Fairy Detective Agency, Wings & Co.to look forward to. I can’t wait to read the next book, The Three Pickled Herrings.
Before you consider reading “Who Could That Be at This Hour?” ask yourself these questions:
Are you curious about what is happening in a seaside town that is no longer by the sea?
Do you want to know about a stolen item that wasn’t stolen at all?
Do you really think that’s any of your business? Why? What kind of a person are you? Really?
Who is standing behind you?
Who Could That Be at This Hour? is uncanny, peculiar and outlandish, all words which here mean ‘quite strange.’ It’s the first book in Lemony Snicket’s new series, in which he gives an account of his apprenticeship in a secret organisation, ‘in a town overshadowed by a sinister conspiracy, culminating in some unnerving and troublesome truths that lay buried for a number of years, while people were busy doing somthing else.’ The story is addictive and once you start, it’s very hard to put down. It’s set in a strange little town, containing ‘a sea without water and a forest without trees,’ and it’s full of bizarre events and curious characters.
Nobody in this story is quite who they first appear to be. There is Lemony’s chaperone, S. Theodora Markson (don’t ask what the S stands for) who is not as competent or highly skilled as she portrays, the mysterious, coffee-drinking Ellington Feint, the shadowy Hangfire, and even Lemony Snicket himself. I love the way that Lemony Snicket describes some of the weird people he meets, like Stew,
He looked like the child of a man and a log, with a big, thick neck and hair that looked like a bowl turned upside down. He had a slingshot tucked into his pocket and a nasty look tucked into his eyes.
My favourite characters in the story are Pip and Squeak, the two brothers who drive the Bellerophon Taxi. They are supposedly filling in for their father, but they’re so short that one steers while the other sits on the floor and pushes the pedals.
If you love mystery and adventure stories, but also want a bit of a laugh, Who Could Be at This Hour? is the perfect book for you. Grab your copy now from your library or bookshop.
The 26 Story Treehouse is a sequel to the hilarious comedy also by Andy Griffiths: ‘The 13 Story Treehouse’. with pictures by Terry Denton, the book is great for all ages. About two unlucky people who get stranded on an island, they soon build a treehouse (with 26 stories). I liked it because I’ve read almost every Andy Griffiths book on earth and also once I started reading it, well, I just couldn’t put it down. Soon to come is yet another volume called the ‘The 39 Story Treehouse’
There’s nothing unusual about the Brockets. Boring, respectable and fiercely proud to be as normal as normal can be, Alistair and Eleanor Brocket turn up their noses at anyone strange or different. But from the moment Barnaby Brocket comes into the world, it’s clear he’s anything but normal. To the horror and shame of his parents, Barnaby appears to defy the laws of gravity – and floats. Little Barnaby is a lonely child – after all, it’s hard to make friends when you’re pressed against the ceiling all day. Desperate to please his parents, he does his best to stop floating, but he simply can’t do it. It’s just not who he is. Then, one fateful day, Barnaby’s mother decides enough is enough. She never asked for a weird, abnormal, floating child. She’s sick and tired of the newspapers prying and the neighbours gossiping. Barnaby has to go. Betrayed, frightened and alone, Barnaby floats into the path of a very special hot air balloon. And so begins a magical journey around the world; from South America to New York, Canada to Ireland, and even a trip into space, Barnaby meets a cast of truly extraordinary new friends and realises that nothing can make you happier than just being yourself.
The Terrible Thing That Happened to Barnaby Brocket is one of my favourite books of 2012. John Boyne has crafted a magical, imaginative tale that celebrates difference and takes us around the world, introducing us to an interesting cast of characters along the way. If you like Roald Dahl’s books then this is the perfect book for you. The characters in Barnaby Brocket are similar to Roald Dahl’s characters, especially Barnaby’s horrible, selfish parents. As soon as he is born, Barnaby is the bane of his parent’s life. They are normal people who want a normal life, but Barnaby is anything but. A son who floats and gets a lot of attention threatens their normal lives, so his mother does the unthinkable. The worst thing is that they don’t even regret what they did!
I love all the interesting characters that Barnaby meets on his travels. There’s Liam (the boy with hooks for hands), Joshua Pruitt (the window cleaner with a hidden talent) and the imprisoned members of Freakitude. They’re all different in their own ways and they not only help Barnaby get back home, but also help him to realise that nothing can make you happier than just being yourself.
On Friday at Shirley Library we hosted the New Zealand launch of Barry Hutchison’s The 13th Horseman. We had some giveaways, a feast fit for a Horseman of the Apocalypse, and some special launch videos from Barry in Scotland.
If you weren’t able to get to the launch on Friday you can still join in the fun here and find out about this awesome book. Barry made 3 videos especially for his readers in NZ, in which he introduces The 13th Horseman, reads from the book, and answers some questions. Come on in and join the party!
Barry introduces The 13th Horseman
Barry reads an excerpt from The 13th Horseman
Barry answers some questions about The 13th Horseman
Drake is surprised to find three Horsemen of the Apocalypse playing snakes and ladders in his garden shed. Even more surprisingly, they’re missing a Horseman and think that Drake is the boy for the job. Drake is reluctant to join them, but does being in charge of Armageddon have to spell the end of the world?
From the wastelands of oblivion to the desolate plains of Limbo – join the Horsemen of the Apocalypse on a wild and hilarious ride…
The 13th Horseman is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. The laughs don’t come from toilet humour, but from the actions (or inaction) of the three long serving Horsemen of the Apocalypse. There’s Pestilence who’s dressed like a doctor with a white coat and rubber gloves (to protect the humans, not himself), the red-haired giant, War, with a temper to match his stature, and my favourite, Famine, who is absolutely huge, with massive rolls of fat all over his body (which provide great places to store food for later). When Drake first meets them, they’ve been playing board games for thousands of years and are completely bored. They all seem to be totally incompetent and can’t even organise themselves to do the job they’re there for – usher in the Apocalypse. They all have a horse to ride across the sky, apart from Famine who has a mobility scooter (so that he doesn’t squash a horse). Each of the Horsemen has their own quirks but my favourite is definitely Famine, because no matter when you look at him, he’s always eating something.
Thankfully, The 13th Horseman is only the first book in the Afterworlds series and the sequel, The Lost Book of Everything is due out in 2013. If you haven’t read any of Barry Hutchison’s books yet, The 13th Horseman is a good place to start.
Come along to Shirley Library this Friday (25 May) from 4pm and celebrate the launch of a a cool new book, called The 13th Horseman by UK author Barry Hutchison. Barry is also the author of the incredibly creepy Invisible Fiends series, including Mr Mumbles and Raggy Maggie. Hear Barry talk about his hilarious new book and enjoy drinks and snacks fit for a Horseman of the Apocalypse. We have 3 copies of The 13th Horseman to give away and everyone gets a signed bookplate.
The event is free and suitable for ages 10 years and up.
One of the funniest authors around, Andy Griffiths is coming to Christchurch for some school visits in May. If you’re not lucky enough to go to one of the schools he’ll be visiting you can come and meet him in person and get your books signed at The Children’s Bookshop (227 Blenheim Road) on Sunday 6 May, from 1:30-2:30pm.
Andy is the author of the ‘Just’ books, including Just Disgusting, Just Annoying, and his latest book, Just Doomed, as well as the Zombie Bums From Uranus series.
You can reserve Andy’s latest book, Just Doomed, at the library now.
Have you read all the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and want something like them? Have you been waiting ages to read them and want something to read while you wait? Here’s a list of some books and authors you could try:
What happens when some of the coolest children’s book authors and illustrators play a writing game that starts with one person’s ideas and ends with a novel of 27 episodes? You get The Exquisite Corpse Adventure. The title makes it sound like it should be a horror story, but it’s actually a weird, crazy, funny, out-of-control story put together by some of the coolest authors around. If you’ve read or participated in the FaBo story that Kyle Mewburn started, The Exquisite Corpse is the same idea.
The story starts with twins Nancy and Joe escaping from the circus, where they have lived since they were babies. With the help of different clues, Nancy and Joe search to piece together the Exquisite Corpse and find their parents. Each chapter is written by a different author, so just when you think you know what’s going to happen next, the story can go off in a completely different direction. The story is a little bit like Alice in Wonderland and The Phantom Tollbooth because they meet lots of weird and wonderful characters and get into some tricky situations. The first chapter hooks you in by imagining what could happen in the rest of the story:
“…there is a good chance that Nancy and Joe will have to deal with werewolves and mad scientists, real ninjas and fake vampires, one roller-skating baby, a talking pig, creatures from another planet…plenty of explosions, a monkey disguised as a pirate, two meatballs…and not just one bad guy but a whole army of villains.”
Pick up The Exquisite Corpse Adventure if you dare and be prepared to be taken on a wild ride. Recommended for 9+ 8 out of 10
Hi Guys. I have just finished the brand spanking new Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever book. This book is about Greg Heffley wanting to get money to play net kritterz, but along the way he gets into all sorts of mischief. Now the police are looking for him and then it starts to snow. The snow gets up to 2-3 feet high and Greg decides to make a new paper for the holiday bazaar while there is no power all because of Manny!!!!
Highly recommended A++++++++++++. I was glued to this book. It has 217 pages with awesome pictures. It took me a day and a half-2 days to read this awesome book. Recommended for ages 8- any age. Now I am so sad the book is finished=( !
Does your granny smell like cabbage? Does she like to play boring games like Scrabble? Do you think she’s boring? If you’ve answered yes to all of these questions you probably don’t know her that well. For all you know she could be a spy, a superhero or even an international jewel thief like Ben’s granny.
Every Friday night Ben gets sent to stay with his granny, while his parents go out to the movies or to watch Strictly Stars Dancing Live. Ben thinks she’s boring and would rather be anywhere else than spending time with her. Ben gets sick of eating his granny’s cabbage soup and decides to look in her cupboard for some real food. He never thought he would discover the stash of priceless jewels in her biscuit tin. When he confronts her to find out the truth, he discovers that his granny isn’t boring, she’s an international jewel thief. Ben decides to help his granny pull off the crime of the century – break into the Tower of London and steal the crown jewels.
Gangsta Granny is a book that’s both really funny and a bit sad. I’m sure your granny’s just a bit like Ben’s granny, even if she’s not a jewel thief. If you ask her I’m sure some of her stories are just as interesting. Ben’s parents seem like they don’t really care about him because they’re more interested in their dancing show than they are in him, but deep down they love him. I love the way David Walliams writes because his stories are so different and his characters are really easy to relate too. If you liked his other stories, like The Boy in the Dress, Mr Stink and Billionaire Boy, or you like Roald Dahl’s books, you’ll love Gangsta Granny. Recommended for 7+ 8 out of 10
There are all sorts of poetry books you can find in the library. There are nice, sweet poems about friends, poems about animals, or poems about monsters. Some of them rhyme and some of them twist and turn all over the page. Sticky Ends is a new collection of twenty-six very funny cautionary verses where the characters come to a sticky end. Some of them are stupendously silly, some are horribly gross, but they’re all funny.
In Sticky Ends you’ll meet Bubblegum Pete who ate all the bubblegum he could eat, but then comes to a sticky end when he blows the biggest bubble and gets blown away. There’s a very naughty Father Christmas who gets blackmailed by a naughty boy, Lardy Marge who eats too much butter, and Filthy Frankie who gets cocooned in snot.
If you ever need a really funny poem to read aloud at school or to make your parents squirm, Sticky Ends has a great selection to choose from. If you’re looking for it in the library, just look for the picture of an elephant sitting on a person on the front cover.
Velocitchy-raptor, book 3 in the hilarious Dinosaur Rescue series by Kyle Mewburn and Donovan Bixley, sees Arg trying to escape the clutches of a hungry Quetzalcoatlus (pronounced Kwet-zal-ca-AT-lus). Arg is trying to keep himself dry in a storm using his dried devil frog when a Quetzalcoatlus swoops down and snatches the frog, with Arg still attached. He’s taken to the dinosaur’s nest where he meets a baby velociraptor. They escape from the nest and Arg takes the baby home to hide it safely in his cave. Unfortunately Arg seems to be allergic to velociraptors and breaks out in itchy sores. If that wasn’t bad enough, his sister would have the velociraptor for dinner if she found it. Can Arg get the baby to safety?
Velocitchy-raptor is another hilarious and disgusting addition to the Dinosaur Rescue series. Kyle and Donovan once again introduce us to snippets of prehistoric life, from the bizarre leisure time activities of Arg’s family and how to talk to stone age people, to the not-very-useful guide to dinosaur names and the many uses of Old Drik’s toenail goo. Velocitchy-raptor will leave you with a sore stomach from laughing or a very sick stomach from this snot and pus-filled adventure. Recommended for 7+ 9 out of 10
More than any other book I read as a child The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster gave me a love of words, perhaps the most important thing a writer needs. It’s a celebration of words –it twists them, puns them and pushes them. There are so many cool bits: like the man who is short and tall, thin and fat all at the same time; and the orchestra that plays colours. Part of the appeal of Tollbooth is in the illustrations by Jules Feiffer. I love his faceless Trivium character (very Dr Who) who says
‘What could be more important than doing unimportant things? If you stop to do enough of them, you’ll never get to where you’re going.”
I sometimes see this devious fellow hanging around. He tries to distract me from writing by telling me to other jobs. He says ‘there’s always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing.’
Hope Tintin month at the library is going blisteringly well. Wish I could be there to see Zac in his plus-fours (Tintin’s trousers).
Do you like Dinosaurs? Do you like to be grossed-out by all sorts of disgusting things? If you answered yes to both of these questions then I’ve got the perfect book for you – T-Wreck-Asaurus, the first book in the hilarious new Dinosaur Rescue series by Kyle Mewburn and Donovan Bixley.
Arg is a caveboy with a really big brain. He doesn’t really fit in with the rest of his tribe who are really, really stupid. Arg doesn’t know why he was born with a bigger brain than anybody else, and sometimes it can be quite lonely being this smart. Thankfully, he has his pet microceratops, Krrk-Krrk to keep him company and join him on his adventures. When an angry T-rex starts destroying his village it’s up to Arg to come up with a plan to stop him.
T-Wreck-Asaurus is a gross, hilarious book and it’s perfect for fans of Andy Griffiths, Captain Underpants, and anyone who likes stories with dinosaur farts and Brontosaurus poo. The story and the illustrations had me laughing out loud. There are lots of little added extras throughout the book, including notes about Arg’s clothing, interesting facts about Brontosaurus poo and a diagram of Arg’s family cave. You may want to hold your nose as you read, because the stench from these dinosaurs is deadly! Look out for book two in the series, Stego-Snottysaurus.
The Storylines Free Family Day in Christchurch on Sunday 21 August is only 1 week away. There are lots of amazing author and illustrators coming, including the very cool, Kyle Mewburn and Donovan Bixley. Kyle and Donovan have created a hilarious and disgusting new series called Dinosaur Rescue. You can read our review of the series and watch the disgusting book trailer here on the blog. To celebrate the release of the first two books in the series and their appearance at the Christchurch Storylines Family Day, we have 5 sets of the first two books to give away, which include:
To go into the draw to win one of these books, all you have to do is answer this question – What is your favourite dinosaur and why? Add a comment on this post with your answer, your name, and email address (so we can contact you if you win). Entries close Friday 19 August at 5pm.
Take eleven-year-old Timmy Failure – the clueless, comically self-confident CEO of the best detective agency in town, perhaps even the nation. Add his impressively lazy business partner, a very large polar bear named Total. Throw in the Failuremobile – Timmy s mom s Segway – and what you have is Total Failure, Inc., a global enterprise destined to make Timmy so rich his mother won t have to stress out about the bills anymore. Of course, Timmy’s plan does not include the four-foot-tall female whose name shall not be uttered. And it doesn t include Rollo Tookus, who is so obsessed with getting into “Stanfurd” that he can t carry out a no-brain spy mission.
One of the funniest authors around, 
