Star Author Refuses To Comment

And then, there was me.

Yep, I’m Leonie Agnew, the next Star Author for June and I’ve nothing to say. I’m not giving you a single writing tip. Not one. Why?

Because you might learn something useful.

I can’t have that. You might write your own book. And when you’re sunning yourself by the pool outside your billion dollar mansion, sipping drinks from diamond studded goblets and snap chatting with J K Rowling … guess what you’ll be? MY COMPETITION!

I will be extra grumpy because I drink out of plastic cups, don’t own a tent, let alone a mansion and well, J K keeps ignoring my tweets. Can’t imagine why.

Anyway, the point is, my lips are sealed. I won’t tell you about the children’s writer’s conference in Christchurch. I certainly won’t mention the workshop on editing with Joanna Orwin. Instead, I will take her tips to my grave, written in microfiche and encased in glass, worn around my wrist and disguised as a friendship bead. Why should I tell anyone about the importance of editing and taking out adverbs, even if it does avoid unnecessary description and make your writing sharp?

She also told me something so top-secret, I’m thinking of writing it down with heat sensitive ink. That way, when historians dig up my body and find the bead (and they will, mark my words), the warmth from their breath will make the words evaporate. Clever, right?

No one will ever know Joanna said take words out and add words in – necessary if you haven’t milked the crucial moments in your chapter. That’s like, after the big moment in each chapter, you need to show the main character’s emotional reaction, not just the physical. So if your character wants to run away, it pays to make them think about it first. Understanding character motivation helps the reader to care and keeps them turning pages.

Yep, wild horses couldn’t drag that information from me. Oh … darn.

Right.

Well … give J K Rowling my best, okay? I will come to all your book launches and eat the free food. Mostly because I’ll be unemployed and starving.

Bye for now,

Leonie Agnew

P.S. I think I was supposed to tell you stuff about me. I’m the author of Super Finn and The Importance of Green. That’s a start. Stay tuned and I’ll tell you facts about my life that may or may not be true.

Usually I tell the truth, until I get bored. But it’s not telling lies. When you write lies down it’s called writing fiction, and that’s completely okay.  Just ask your librarian.

8 Responses so far

  1. 1

    zackids said,

    I agree. Writing lies as fiction is completely OK. Where would the world be without stories?

  2. 2

    Ella said,

    Awesome post, Leonie!

    And I can tell that you’re a writer, as you have a very active imagination! 😉 Every writer needs that.

  3. 3

    saira said,

    Super Finn is the funniest book ever!!!

  4. 4

    Tierney said,

    Brilliant! What a wonderful point- it can’t be lying if it’s written down. It’s fiction! Fantastic- right. I’m off to tell my mum.

  5. 6

    Tierney said,

    Haha, don’t worry- I won’t!

  6. 7

    Zee said,

    Haha, you put a smile in my morning, Leonie. Emotional backstory is something I noticed I don’t have enough of – but if I start editing now, it’ll never get done, so it’s in the back of my head to go back to when I’ve finished my first draft.

    Also, what are these lies that you speak of? It’s just a different version of the truth… 🙂

  7. 8

    Leonie said,

    Hello Zee – agreed about lies. Thank goodness for alternate dimensions. My stories must be true, somewhere …


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